Every Sunday, a significant number of men in Kenya remain behind as their wives and children attend church. This trend is attributed to various factors, including work and family-related responsibilities, disappointment with the church, cultural differences, or a feeling of not belonging. For Peter Otieno, a 20-year-old road accident changed his life and his relationship with the church. After being a committed church member for nearly 30 years, Peter's drift from church began when he became disabled and felt excluded from activities involving men.
Peter's accident left him using a wheelchair, and he felt that the church was treating him like a beggar. Despite his efforts to seek help from the church, including requests for assistance in starting a business, Peter felt neglected. His struggles deepened in 2018 when his wife died, leaving him depressed and separated from his two children. However, with the support of his children, Peter established a phone repair and electronics shop in Komarock and was determined to give them a better future.
For Benson Buchichi, staying away from church has less to do with disappointment and more to do with the challenge of finding a congregation where he feels at home. When he moved to Nairobi with his wife in the early 2000s, he wanted to remain in the denomination he was brought up in, but the language barrier became too frustrating. Buchichi's wife moved to All Saints Cathedral, where she worships with their children, and he continues to support their church activities financially, believing that their prayers also cover him.
Unlike Peter and Buchichi, Bonface Musambai, a medical doctor, has not deliberately withdrawn from church. His demanding work schedule simply makes regular attendance difficult. Musambai and his wife have built a family life around shared faith, and their five children continue to attend church. Despite occasionally missing services, Musambai supports whatever is happening in church and believes that his wife's prayers strengthen their home.
The experiences of these men point to a wider concern about men's participation in religious life. Pastor Solomon Kisakui of Communitas Christian Churches of Kenya in Kajiado County notes that women often outnumber men in church services because they are more involved in activities such as prayer groups, community outreach, and other church programs. Kisakui warns that when men withdraw, women are left carrying responsibilities that should be shared.
According to Pastor Kisakui, men have important responsibilities in church, including providing spiritual leadership, participating in prayer and worship, nurturing children in the fundamentals of faith, supporting their families, and contributing to church development. The withdrawal of men from church can have significant implications for the church and the community.
The stories of Peter, Buchichi, and Musambai highlight the need for churches to be more inclusive and understanding of the challenges faced by men. By engaging with these issues, churches can work towards creating a more supportive environment that encourages men's participation and fosters a sense of belonging among all members.
Key points
- Many men in Kenya are abandoning church due to various reasons, including disability, language barriers, and work-related responsibilities.
- The withdrawal of men from church can have significant implications for the church and the community.
- Churches need to be more inclusive and understanding of the challenges faced by men to encourage their participation and foster a sense of belonging.
