Being messy is often attributed to personality, but research suggests that it is not a fixed trait. According to psychologists, personality is described in terms of relatively enduring patterns in how people tend to think, feel, and behave. One of the "Big Five" personality traits is conscientiousness, which includes tendencies towards being industrious, self-controlled, and orderly. However, personality is not destiny, and changing patterns may eventually change something about the kind of person we are.
A messy room is not usually created by one great act of mess-making, but rather by hundreds of tiny behaviours. These behaviours can become habits, which develop when we repeatedly perform a behaviour in a recurring context. With repetition, features of that context can begin to prompt the behaviour automatically. This helps explain why simply deciding to "be tidier" can fail, as we return home with the same intentions but also to the same environment that prompts the same old behaviours.
Changing the environment, rather than just our intentions, can help us become tidier. For example, putting a small bowl beside the door can prompt the behaviour of putting keys in a designated spot. Repeatedly putting the keys there when we arrive home helps strengthen the association between the situation and that response. The same principle applies elsewhere, such as putting the laundry basket where clothes actually come off or giving frequently used objects an obvious home.
The relationship between personality and behaviour is complex, and researchers have proposed that changing behaviours through which a personality trait is expressed may, over time, contribute to changing the trait itself. This challenges the idea that we must first become an organised person before we can behave like one. Perhaps consistently behaving in a more organised way is part of how we become more organised.
To become tidier, it is essential to start by observing rather than judging. Noticing a recurring problem and the behaviour that produces it can help us decide what we want to do instead. Making a specific plan, such as "When I take off my clothes, I'll put them in the basket," can be effective. Arranging our surroundings to prompt the new behaviour and make it easy can also help.
Tidiness is not a measure of character, and perfection does not need to be the goal. The more useful question is whether our environment is helping or hindering the life we want to lead. If difficulties with organisation are causing significant distress or interfering with everyday life, it may be worth seeking professional help. Hoarding disorder is a recognised mental health condition, and professional help is available.
Ultimately, becoming tidier is not about changing who we are but about creating an environment that supports the behaviours we want. By making small changes and establishing routines, we can develop habits that make life easier. As Trevor Mazzucchelli notes, "You may always be less naturally orderly than someone else. But arrange your environment to prompt the behaviours you want, establish routines that support them, and repeat them often enough, and those behaviours can become habits."
Key points
- Being messy is not a fixed personality trait and can be changed through small environmental changes and repeated habits.
- Changing behaviours can, over time, contribute to changing personality traits.
- Seeking professional help may be necessary if difficulties with organisation are causing significant distress or interfering with everyday life.
