In a thought-provoking article, Jarga Kebba Gigo, a writer for ModernGhana, argues that the conventional advice to women to be "hard to get" is misguided and potentially damaging. He contends that this approach, often used to control men's behavior, neglects the importance of sincerity and kindness in relationships. Gigo suggests that humans have a tendency to prioritize intelligence and superficiality over truthfulness, leading to a culture of illusions and deception.
Gigo emphasizes that sex is a fundamental aspect of human life, with far-reaching consequences. He notes that with eight billion people on the planet, it's essential to reevaluate our attitudes towards sex and relationships. The writer questions the message conveyed to men and women through the "hard to get" approach, arguing that it can lead to a culture of fear, greed, and arrogance. Instead, he advocates for a focus on character, health, and wealth in building meaningful relationships.
The article highlights the differences in expectations for men and women in relationships. Gigo notes that while women are often encouraged to be "hard to get," men are expected to endure hardships and prove themselves. He cites examples from religious texts, such as the Bible and the Quran, which describe prophet Moses working for seven or eight years to win his wife's hand. Gigo argues that such expectations can be unfair and lead to an imbalance in relationships.
Gigo also explores the challenges of navigating relationships outside of marriage. He suggests that encouraging children to delay sex until their early twenties can help prevent addiction and emotional trauma. However, he criticizes the current matriarchal leaning world for failing to address sexual wrongdoing, particularly by women. The writer argues that the West's promotion of porn culture and masturbation has contributed to a culture of sexual exploitation.
For non-virgin adults, Gigo believes that a "hard to get" approach can be counterproductive. He notes that over 90% of people who have had sex cannot stop, and that telling them to play "hard to get" can be cruel or indifferent. Instead, he advocates for sincerity and kindness in relationships, suggesting that individuals should focus on building trust and respect rather than playing games.
Gigo also critiques the West's approach to relationships, arguing that it often prioritizes superficiality over substance. He notes that many breakups in the West are caused by fear, greed, or arrogance, rather than a genuine desire for connection. The writer warns that adopting Western values without critical evaluation can be detrimental to Ghanaian culture and relationships.
Ultimately, Gigo advocates for a shift in focus towards sincerity, compromise, and verifiable intelligence in relationships. He suggests that individuals should prioritize kindness, respect, and trust, rather than playing "hard to get" or trying to control others. By promoting a culture of truthfulness and empathy, Gigo believes that we can build healthier, more meaningful relationships that prioritize mutual respect and understanding.
Key points
- The writer argues that the "hard to get" approach can lead to a culture of fear, greed, and arrogance in relationships.
- Gigo advocates for a focus on sincerity, kindness, and verifiable intelligence in building meaningful relationships.
- The article highlights the need to reevaluate conventional views on sex and relationships in Ghanaian culture.
