A recent online outcry against a woman who stayed in her marital home for 21 years after being abandoned by her husband has sparked a debate about respecting the choices of others. The woman, referred to as the "Goat Wife," was criticized by young people who felt she should have left her husband and moved on with her life. However, columnist Kenyatta Otieno argues that people should be more understanding and respectful of the choices made by others, especially when they are influenced by the circumstances of their time.
Otieno notes that new laws and social norms often apply to cases that occur after they are enacted, and it is unfair to judge people from the past by today's standards. He argues that young people today have a tendency to look down on the older generation for living their lives as their times dictated, and that this attitude is misplaced. Otieno believes that people should be more gracious and understanding when evaluating the choices of others.
The columnist shares a personal experience that changed his perception of wife inheritance, a practice he had previously strongly opposed. He met a widow who had been inherited by a man in his clan and had gone on to have a family with him. The widow explained that she had chosen to stay with her new husband because she had left her family to marry into his clan, and she felt a sense of loyalty and obligation to her new family.
Otieno argues that when an adult of sound mind makes a choice that doesn't make sense to others, it is essential to respect it. He believes that people should not judge others without understanding the context and circumstances that led to their decisions. Otieno also notes that separation and divorce can have negative effects on children, and that staying in an abusive marriage can also have consequences.
The columnist emphasizes the importance of being gentle and supportive towards people who have made choices that may not be understood by others. He argues that people should not be quick to judge or criticize others, especially when children are involved. Otieno believes that people should focus on providing support and guidance rather than negative energy and criticism.
Otieno also notes that times change, and cultural norms are dynamic. He argues that what may be considered acceptable or desirable today may not be the same in the future. The columnist cites the example of Raila Odinga's grandmother, who was married and later widowed in Kisumu and went on to find another husband in Bondo.
Finally, Otieno encourages people to be informed and empowered, but also to be respectful of the choices made by others. He argues that people should consider multiple perspectives and evaluate the consequences of their actions before making judgments about others. By being more understanding and supportive, people can create a more positive and inclusive environment for everyone.
Key points
- People should respect the life choices of others, even if they don't make sense today.
- New laws and social norms often apply to cases that occur after they are enacted.
- Separation and divorce can have negative effects on children.
