Jalia Walda, a Ugandan creator based in the United States, has sparked a conversation about marriage habits with a TikTok video that has garnered significant attention. In the video, Walda shares her approach to relationships, including kneeling when apologizing, complimenting her husband at random moments, and taking care of her appearance before bed. Her account has about 1.3 million TikTok followers, and her video has been viewed and commented on by many.
Walda's marriage habits are built around small rituals that prioritize care and consideration. She says she still feeds her husband even when they're angry, and that she informs him or asks for his permission before going somewhere. She also shares phone passwords with him and keeps work decisions separate from their emotional life. While her approach may work for her and her husband, it has also raised questions about unequal expectations and control in relationships.
One of Walda's sharpest observations concerns arguments, noting that "the real arguments happen after the argument." She urges viewers to be careful with words spoken in anger and to prioritize mutual respect and consideration. Her video mixes relationship advice with skincare product mentions and playful details, making it entertaining and thought-provoking.
However, not everyone agrees with Walda's approach, and some have criticized her habits as overly submissive or controlling. Informing a partner about plans can be a gesture of consideration, but needing permission to move freely can become restrictive. Shared phone passwords may suit some couples, but access to a phone is not, by itself, proof of trust.
Rwanda's latest official figures provide context for the conversation, with 50,256 legal marriages recorded in 2025, down from 52,878 in 2024. The National Institute of Statistics of Rwanda also recorded 4,479 divorces in 2025, with 2,629 granted by courts. The 2022 census found that 49.1% of people aged 12 and above were married, officially or unofficially.
The conversation sparked by Walda's video is not about replicating her routines, but about what care and respect look like in individual relationships. For Rwandan couples, the question is what habits and rituals can they adopt to prioritize mutual consideration and respect. A healthy partnership leaves room for both spouses to speak, disagree, and make decisions together.
Ultimately, the lesson from Walda's video is that a marriage works best when consideration runs both ways. Affection and sexual intimacy should be mutual choices rather than duties owed as a "reward." As couples navigate their relationships, they must prioritize communication, respect, and mutual consideration to build a strong and healthy partnership.
Key points
- Jalia Walda's TikTok video on marriage habits sparks debate on relationships and devotion.
- Walda's approach prioritizes care and consideration, but raises questions about unequal expectations and control.
- The conversation sparked by Walda's video encourages Rwandan couples to reflect on their own relationships and prioritize mutual consideration and respect.
