Social media platforms are awash with messages that seem to discourage marriage and promote separation. Women have taken to TikTok and other platforms to share their experiences of marriage being a burden, while others use their divorce stories to advise those still in marriage to be cautious. This trend has raised concerns about the role of social media in fueling marital conflicts. Experts warn that the advice given online is often lacking in context and expertise.
According to marriage counselor and psychologist Lucy Nduti, social media is now a major source of marital conflicts she deals with. She attributes this to the unsolicited advice from unqualified individuals, which often oversimplifies complex marital issues. Nduti emphasizes that marriage requires a deep understanding of context, communication, and the history of the relationship, which cannot be captured in brief online messages.
Nduti also notes that the trend of labeling every issue as a "bad sign" can make normal marital conflicts seem like reasons for divorce. For instance, a partner forgetting an important anniversary or remaining silent after a difficult day can be quickly misinterpreted as a major problem. Social media has also changed how people compare their marriages, with many measuring their private lives against the curated highlight reels of others.
The constant comparison can lead individuals to question why their marriage does not measure up to what they see online. Additionally, excessive social media use can reduce communication, intimacy, and affection between partners, as they spend more time on their phones than engaging with each other. However, Nduti cautions that not all marital problems are caused by social media.
Lawyer Cosmas Mureti notes that social media is increasingly becoming a factor in marital disputes that end up in court. He warns that online posts can be used as evidence in court cases, such as claims of infidelity and domestic violence. However, he advises couples against sharing personal messages, screenshots, and arguments online, as this can escalate conflicts and undermine reconciliation efforts.
Mureti also disputes the notion that a partner who guards their phone is necessarily hiding infidelity. He emphasizes that marriage is not a prison and does not revoke an individual's right to privacy. Couples should not compare their relationships to those portrayed online, as each marriage is unique.
Ultimately, experts are urging couples to be cautious about the role of social media in their marriages. By being aware of the potential pitfalls and taking steps to mitigate them, couples can protect their relationships from the negative influences of social media and build stronger, more resilient marriages.
Key points
- Social media is increasingly becoming a source of marital conflicts and divorces in Kenya.
- Unsolicited online advice and comparisons can fuel marital conflicts and undermine relationships.
- Couples should be cautious about sharing personal issues online and compare their relationships to others.
