Friendships are vital for emotional support and companionship, but can become draining when one person bears the brunt of maintaining the relationship. This reality inspired Namibian author and communications coach Loide Nantinda to write her book, 'The Open Hand: The Art of Reciprocity, Grace and the Courage to Be Still in Friendships'. The book explores challenges women face in friendships, including balancing giving and receiving, setting boundaries, and knowing when to step back.
Nantinda's inspiration for the book came from personal experiences and her work as a coach, where she interacted with groups predominantly made up of women. She noticed many women, regardless of age or professional achievements, struggled with similar challenges in their friendships. Despite success in other areas, they often carried emotional burdens due to strained relationships and unreciprocated efforts.
The book's title, 'The Open Hand', represents emotional maturity, trust, and allowing relationships to develop naturally. Nantinda explains that holding on too tightly can prevent genuine connections. Having an open hand means giving people the freedom to participate in a friendship without feeling responsible for its survival. This approach encourages balanced and healthy relationships.
A key message in the book is the courage to be still, which means recognising when one has been making all the effort and allowing the other person to contribute. Nantinda believes that constantly initiating conversations and meetings can hide the reality of an unbalanced friendship. By stepping back, individuals can understand whether a relationship is mutually maintained or one-sided.
The book promotes patience, understanding, mutual respect, and healthy boundaries. Nantinda encourages women to recognise the difference between a friend going through a difficult period and someone who chooses not to contribute to the friendship. She hopes the book will help women prioritise their own well-being while showing love and compassion to others.
The writing process challenged Nantinda to reflect on her own experiences and behaviour in friendships. She admits to often taking responsibility for maintaining relationships, believing it was her duty to fill gaps. Through writing the book, she learnt the importance of self-compassion and that her value as a person doesn't depend on how much she does for others.
The book is intended for women who naturally take on caregiver roles, often prioritising others' needs over their own emotional well-being. Nantinda hopes it will encourage them to recognise their own needs and seek support. The feedback so far has been encouraging, with several women sharing how the book helped them understand feelings of exhaustion and find relief.
Key points
- Loide Nantinda's book 'The Open Hand' explores challenges women face in maintaining balanced friendships and encourages emotional maturity, trust, and healthy boundaries.
